I Think I Got You Beat
by AmethystUnarmed
Summary: [Part of "The Fairytale Never Told" collection] Bakura and Ryou get into a fight over who had the worse childhood, while Malik tries to keep them from killing each other.


**An addition to the plot bunny that created "I Know It's Today" Once again, this is a songfic, based around the song from Shrek the Musical. The song is set just after Shrek rescues Fiona and the two aren't on the best of terms yet.**

* * *

Ryou was in a good mood for once. His yami had actually let him out of his soul room, and he was walking around of his flat for the first time in weeks. He wasn't sure what his yami had been doing (though he knew it involved Malik sleeping on the couch, a Hello Kitty bandage on his palm, and a broken fish tank), but he knew better than to ask. He walked around the kitchen humming to himself.

"You seem awfully chipper."

"I'm just happy," Ryou replied, pulling some tea from the cabinet. He knew Bakura had materialized behind him, and saw no reason to turn around. He heard the spirit scoffed.

"You're bouncing around like a toddler, yadonushi." Ryou could hear his smirk. "It's rather endearing," he added with a snickered. Taking a deep breath, Ryou rolled his eyes.

"Nope, nope. Not today. You're not going to do it, Bakura. I'm in a good mood, and even you-" He pointed at his yami with a teasing smile. "-can't take me out of it. After a lifetime of misery, I'm finally having a good day." His yami snorted. He actually _snorted._

"A lifetime of misery. Okay, sure." Ryou slowly turned around, eyes wide. Bakura was still slightly chuckling, and raised an eyebrow at Ryou. "What?"

"You laughed."

"Hm?"

"I said 'a lifetime of misery' and you _laughed_." Bakura gave him a confused look, feigning innocent. Unfortunately, Ryou knew him better than that.

"Oh. Did I?"

"Yes. You did." Ryou's good mood had completely evaporated by now. What exactly was his yami trying to say? Bakura raised his hands, as if in surrender.

"Look, I'm sure it was difficult growing up after your mom died and it's not exactly _easy_ being my host."

"It's not."

"I'm sure," Bakura assured him with a predatory smile that made Ryou's hair stand on end.

"Alright," he agreed, hoping that was the end of this discussion. He turned back to his tea.

"Although, at least you had your father and your friends, which is more than I had when I was growing up." _There it is_. Ryou spun around, an actual look of malice in his eyes.

"You're not actually comparing yourself to what I've been through. Are you? _Bakura_?" Bakura had to admit, he was surprised. He had never seen so much fire in his hikari. The boy was still being overdramatic, of course. But still, he was surprised to see Ryou show some backbone. He snickered again.

"I'm just saying that you don't corner the market on unhappy childhoods, _Ryou_." Bakura was amused as Ryou's fists clenched, his face started to turn red. He was starting to get defensive.

"There are thing you don't know, _ya know_? About me. About how rough I had it!" At that point, Malik chose to walk in. Well, stumble in. He was clearly still half asleep, eyes still bleary with dreams. He yawned and stretched, somehow managing to reveal even _more_ of his midriff.

"What's with all the yelling?" He groaned groggily, and rubbed his eyes, "It sounds like-" Malik cut off, taking in the scene in front of him. Bakura and Ryou were only a step away from each other. Bakura was smirking down at the smaller boy, arms crossed triumphantly. Ryou, on the other hand, glared up at Bakura, looking ready to rip his yami's hair out. To be honest, it almost looked like they were about to kiss. "Uhhh... Am I interrupting something?" The two ignored him.

"What?" Bakura asked with a huff, "Your daddy not buy all the figurines you wanted?"

"I mean about my life!"

"Between this flat and your cushy soul room, you seem to have it alright." Malik scratched his head. _This isn't going to end well,_ he thought with a sigh. Ryou's eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

" _Cushy?_ Are you _kidding!_ " Ryou turned away, nearly shaking with anger. His yami was just so _dense_. He took a deep breath and counted to ten. Malik choose this time to speak up.

"Uh, maybe I should go and-" Ryou cut him off, for once not caring if he was rude.

" _I had nothing, I had no one, fighting boredom until you were done._ " He whirled back around, an accusing finger finding Bakura. " _I was lonely, walking circles. I had only..._ " He poked Bakura's chest. "You. _My torturer, and this Ring._ " He took the artifact off and slammed it down on the table. He had to admit, some sadistic part of him liked the worry that flickered in Bakura's eyes when the gold landed on the linoleum with a _bang_.

" _My RPGs and here's the thing; Anyone who ever got close, thanks to you, would always be toast. I could only watch your devastation..._ " His eyes darkened as he remembered the fights in Monster World, all the people who had ended up in comas because of the man in front of him.

" _From my soul room isolation, in my 'bedroom.'_ " He laughed at the thought. _Bedroom? It was more like a prison cell._ " _With very little headroom! Time and again I sat and waited. I'm very dedicated. On the walls the days were added. Why do you think those walls are padded?_ " The last sentence was nearly a yell. Bakura's expression didn't falter, but he took a step back.

" _So... I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat!_ " With each phrase, he took a step forward, slowly backing Bakura into the counter. " _Yeah, yeah yeeeaaahh! I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat._ " Ryou nodded and crossed his arms, looking like the sass incarnate. And Bakura wasn't having it. He pushed Ryou back and out of his face.

"Oh, you think so?" he countered, approaching Ryou, "That _was_ a sad story, but _I've heard better, I'm just saying. A for effort thanks for playing_." He gave Ryou a round of mocking applause, ignore Ryou's death glare. " _Sad to see a princess suffer,_ " he said, ruffling the other's hair, " _but I had it rougher! Like that time these guards with torches burned me good, here see the scorches._ " Bakura lifted his shirt, revealing horrid scars all down his torso. Ryou barely managed to hold back a gasp, and Bakura smirked.

" _You're just complaining. Me? I was really flaming. As I fled I had to wonder, if I were torn asunder, would a Thief King go to heaven? Did I mention I was_ _ **seven**_ _? So..._ " He took a step towards to Ryou.

" _I think I got you beat. Yeah, yeah, yeeeaaahh! I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat._ " He raised his eyebrows, daring Ryou to top that.

Ryou had never wanted to hit someone so much in his entire life. _He's just... so difficult!_ He knew Bakura couldn't stand to lose, and loved treating everything as a competition, but he couldn't be serious! This was Ryou's _life_ , not some sick game! After his mom and Amane... His dad up and left him. Sure, he sends money and makes sure Ryou is cared for, but never comes and actually sees him. Ryou was left to fend for himself.

" _No warm regards_ ," he told Bakura, trying to make the other see his life was anything but easy. Of course, Bakura didn't seem to give a shit.

" _You think I got Christmas cards_?" Ryou kept going anyway.

" _And every day-_ " Again, Bakura cut him off.

" _Was hell on earth day._ " He gave Ryou a big pout. "Poor dear." He snapped back to his condescending glare. "Ryou, I've _been_ to hell."

"You've _made_ my life hell!" Ryou protested, "Let's see here." He began creating a list in his head of all the things that had gone wrong just because he was a hikari. " _I missed my prom,_ I-" That sent Bakura into a fit a cackles.

"Really, yadonushi? That's what you're going with? _My dad and mom were taken away! The Pharaoh never did pay._ "

Ryou offered a sickeningly sweet smile.

"Oh really? The bastard who killed _me_ never paid either!" Bakura scowled, knowing exactly which bastard Ryou was referring to. The shorter boy returned a triumphant smirk. "Ha ha!"

Bakura strode forward, fully intending on giving his insolent hikari a piece of his mind. Ryou didn't back down. In fact, with the way he was glaring at Bakura, it almost seemed as though he was saying "Bring it on." And Bakura intended to bring it.

"Stop!" Malik ran in between the two of them, placing his hands on both of their chests. _Damn,_ he thought with a grunt, _They really want to kill each other._ He was struggling to keep them apart. _Or kiss each other._ He still wasn't sure what way this fight was going to go. "Let's just take a step back and-" Ryou shoved Malik's hand away and Bakura brushed past him. Malik sighed. "Or we can do that."

"Time and again!" Ryou yelled, jamming his finger in Bakura's face. The yami batted his eyes and laid a hand across his forehead.

"'I missed my prom!'" he mocked.

" _My dad and mom!_ " They yelled in unison, faces inches apart, " _They went away!_ " Suddenly the two, realizing what they had just done, stilled. Ryou blushed, suddenly embarrassed, backed off, rubbing his head.

" _So..._ " He trailed off, anger quickly snuffed out.

" _So..._ " Bakura echoed, not sure what else to say. He hadn't really meant to yell at his hikari. It wasn't Ryou he was really mad at. And, judging by the shade of red the aforementioned boy was turning, Ryou felt the same way. It was quiet for a moment, before they both spoke.

" _I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat._ " Ryou offered Bakura a warm smile, which the other teen couldn't help but return. " _Yeah, yeah... Yeah, yeah..._ "

Malik yawned.

"So are you two gonna make out or not?" Once again, host and spirit spoke in unison.

"MALIK!"


End file.
